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creativeashproductions · 8 years ago

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Never Grow Up

Summary: Steve’s unsure about what his future holds anymore at 28, he’s a respectable professor at the university. When he was fresh out of high school he married his high school sweetheart, Peggy Carter. Eighteen when they married and twenty-three when he was widowed.

Words: 3416

Author: Caitsy

Characters: professor!Steve x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Wanda Maximoff, Peggy Carter (mentioned), Sharon Carter (mentioned), Natasha Romanoff

Warnings: Possible swearing, mentioned death, angst and fluff.

Disclaimer: I do not own any gifs, images or marvel in general. Nor do I own the song ‘Never Grow Up’ by Taylor Swift. Enjoy!

A/N Small one shot that’s been in my mind for awhile now. Plus apparently I’m mainly an angst reader. PLEASE REQUEST STUFF. My heart burst at how adorable this was to write

THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING ASH AND I!!!

Tagging: Below. Let us know if you want on the forever tag list, Travelin’ Soldier, Little Do You Know or anything else!

Masterlist

Prompt List

Plans. That’s what Steve had always had growing up because organization was an important part of Steve Rogers. From the moment he could walk Steve wanted to make a difference in the world even for one person. It wasn’t until he blew his knee out in a football game that he realized he wanted to teach. From that moment in freshman year to now he had planned his life.

What he didn’t expect was too fall deeply in love with the student body president and women's rights supporter Peggy Carter. Sophomore year involved heart eyes towards his daydream worthy girlfriend that miraculously didn’t fall for his best friend.

The spring day had brought back memories for Steve as he placed his hands in his slacks. Peggy loved springs days because of how perfect the weather was during the season. That was the thing he preferred to think about that than the tragedies.

Once college was over Steve had wanted to start a family with his wife because that was the second most important thing to Steve. Family. He hadn’t had a true family in years since his parents died. He thought he had the answer with Peggy.

He broached the subject on his twenty-first birthday when he was officially able to teach university students art and history. He graduated early from high school and college too. It had sparked information he hadn’t know before marrying Peggy.

〰️〰️〰️

“Peggy?” Steve bit his lip leaning back in the diner booth, “I want to start talking about having a family.”

“Steve we are a family.” Peggy sweetly smiled as she jotted down notes in the small book she cared around.

“I want children.” Steve said watching as his wife froze in her seat before continuing writing.

“Steve, baby. You know we can’t do that! I’m volunteering in Africa for a month and then I have appointments.” Peggy sadly smiled, “I’m sorry Steve but right now my career is more important.”

“Peg-“

“You know what. I’m tired, call Bucky. Have a boys night. I’m going home.” Peggy said nearly slamming her notebook closed, “I told you when we were dating that I don’t like kids.”

Once sitting alone confused at the behaviour of this wife, they had talked about wanting kids before they were married. Now she was saying that didn’t happen? He wasn’t sure why she had stormed out so he called Bucky to join him. He had ordered his best friend the type of pop he liked before waiting.

Ten minutes later Bucky strolled in to the diner chuckling at the place before sitting across from his friend.

“Punk, happy birthday.” Bucky grinned. Steve’s eyes widened at he remembered something, “You okay?”

“She forgot my birthday. She never forgets my birthday.” Steve mumbled, “She’s acting weird. I brought up family and he got angry.”

“Well I don’t know why so let’s go get drunk.” Bucky grinned placing some money on the table and striding out the door with only a wink to the waitress.

Steve followed getting wasted which was quite rare for him.

Thinking back he didn’t know how he hadn’t seen that way life was going for Peggy and him, the lies that were told. She had been wrapped around wanting to do her career that she forgot the promises they made. He respected her decision but kids were something he wanted and didn’t think he could get passed that but in the end worked out he guessed.

Peggy had been the supportive girlfriend in both high school and college which made him fall deeper in love with her. Had he looked closer he would have saw her for what she truly was. Steve, two years following her death, had managed to forgive her but it deeply wounded him.

The following morning after their fight he had woken up to see a tray of breakfast sitting on the bedside table. On the tray was also Tylenol and water. He let out a sigh of relief before digging in, he was eating the last of his bacon when a sheepish Peggy walked into the room.

“Hey.” Peggy bit her lip, “I want to apologize for my behaviour yesterday and I’m really sorry I forgot it was your birthday.”

“It’s okay.” Steve sighed placing the half eaten bacon on his plate.

“I’m ready to have children.” Peggy smiled at her adorably tired husband. He grinned before motioning her over to him, “We should start now.”

〰️〰️〰️

Sitting down in his office chair Steve rolled until he was gazing down at the quad populated with students. He had cancelled his last class due to his attention being missing in action and had spent the better part of the afternoon barricaded in his sanctuary.

No pictures holding images of himself and his life were to be found in the room anymore, instead there was art on the walls. He had removed all the personal images a couple months after Peggy’s funeral. God he remembered the betrayal before her death.

〰️〰️〰️

He stared down at the object in his hand and the open letter addressed to Peggy and him. In the letter it gave instructions to make an appointment to see if any complications came with the surgery. He had been confused until he read the rest of the letter, Peggy had check-up following getting sterilized. They had been trying for a baby for nearly two years now, and with no luck but he found the letter dated from last year.

She lied to him about wanting kids and lied further about still trying for kid. He felt horrible and depressed. He felt like he wasn’t enough, that his childhood sickness led her to this decision. He didn’t know what he was going to until she walked in from work.

“Hey honey.” Peggy said kissing Steve on the cheek, “How was work?”

“Margaret.” Steve said emotionless, “So do you get off on lying or having control?”

“Excuse us?” Peggy’s indignant tone expressed.

“You’re a…a lying…I have no words.” Steve finished pushing the letter harshly towards his wife. The woman he believed he had known, “You went behind my back and let my hopes get high.”

“What are you talking about?” Peggy huffed.

“YOU CAN’T HAVE KIDS ANYMORE!” Steve roared throwing his hands in the air, “You know that’s all I ever wanted! I wanted children. I wanted to name my daughter after my mother and my son after Bucky. How could you?”

“It’s my body and I didn’t want to ruin it with children. It’s not that big of a deal.” Peggy waved it off, “We don’t need kids.”

“You’ve changed Peggy. I don’t even know you anymore.” Steve sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I’m still me!”

“No you aren’t. You are a selfish human being that disregards anyone else if it doesn’t fit what you believe. You haven’t remembered anything, you cancel dates and I sure as hell know you’re calling someone at odd times.”

“I am-“

“I know you’re cheating on me.” Steve announced glaring at her. She gulped trying to say something to fix it, “Who is it?”

“None of your business.” Peggy hissed shifting on her feet.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Steve shook his head, “I want you out of the house. Now.”

“You ca-“

“Get out now. We’re over.”

〰️〰️〰️

She died later that year. He still loved her but he wasn’t in love anymore, especially when he saw someone that resembled Peggy a lot. Sharon Carter.

Sharon Carter was born in the year that Peggy had been in Africa volunteering, of course he learnt she hadn’t been there. For six months since his wife was in hiding in order to give birth to child that turned out to be this ten year old that spoke at her funeral.

“Hi. I’m Sharon Carter, Peggy was my mom. Not many people know that Peggy Carter was a mother to me, in fact people who knew were told I was her niece.” Sharon said looking around with tears, “She loved me. I know that but she couldn’t be with my Dad. I never knew until I was six Mom had a husband that wasn’t my Dad. She gave my Dad full custody but requested I get her last name.”

Steve was crying out of the sheer amount of things he didn’t know about his own wife. He had a stepdaughter but Peggy didn’t want kids with him. He didn’t know what was true or not with her, all he knew was that there marriage was real.

〰️〰️〰️

He was having dinner with Bucky and his fiancée tonight and he was not excited at all to see them all happy. He wanted that but with the failed marriage he didn’t think he could go through it again. It was the weekend so he didn’t bother shaving and he pulled on a pair of worn jeans, simple white shirt and a leather jacket.

The house was small but homey looking and entirely what he had wanted himself. His apartment, he sold the house Peggy and he had lived in, was small but it was his place. Bucky had always told him he could walk in without having to knock but Steve found that uncomfortable. Bucky opened the door with chuckled stepping aside.

“Hey Buck.” Steve smiled pulling the man into a hug.

“Hey punk.” Bucky grinned pulling away to head into the kitchen.

He poked his head in to see Wanda singing in her native Sokovian language, she wasn’t the person he had thought Bucky wouldn’t settle down with. Bucky had been the ladies man that went out with bombshells a lot of the time but after his last relationship Wanda was perfect. She was kind, smart and an amazing chef given that was her career.

“Steve!” Wanda exclaimed pulling him into a hug.

“Hey Wanda.” Steve replied kissing her on the cheek, “How’s my favourite chef?”

Wanda’s mouth opened to answer before a voice from the entry called out Wanda’s name. The brunette squealed as she took off, meeting halfway with another female. Babbling they pulled way with a grins. Soon the woman was in Steve’s line of vision and she was gorgeous.

“Steve this is my best friend Y/N Y/L/N. She’s an doctor at the local hospital.” Wanda grinned, “She works closely with Pietro.”

“I’m Steve Rogers.” Steve smiled not taking his eyes off the beautiful girl.

〰️〰️〰️

You were grinning watching Bucky and Wanda kiss once they were declared husband and wife, they had a long engagement. Three years before they finally had enough money to have the wedding and taking some time off for a honeymoon. Wanda was exquisite in the dress she had chosen with a beautiful lace material that covered her arms, back and chest. It was gorgeous and simply Wanda and a pair of red heels. Bucky was very nice in his suit that was tailored perfectly.

“She’s gorgeous.” You breathe staring at your best friend and her husband.

“Y-Yeah.” Steve’s voice cracked. You looked over at him to see him quietly crying.

“Are you okay?” You chuckled at the overemotional man.

“I’m…I’m having a tough time.”

“Bucky’s still your best friend. He may be married but he’s always-“

“I don’t want her to grow up.” Steve cried looking at his daughter in his arms, “Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up. It could stay this simple, I won't let nobody hurt you. Won’t let no one break your heart, no one will desert you. Just try to never grow up.”

“Oh honey.” You said hugging his side and kissing your daughter on her cheek. You laughed at your fiancé’s antics because your daughter wasn’t even six months and he was already picturing her wedding. It had been a welcome surprise when you found out you were pregnant after only a year of dating.

〰️〰️〰️

“Oh no.” You whimpered throwing up even more. It was early in the morning in your apartment and you were feeling like absolute shit. You were making eggs and bacon when the smell hit you hard and had you running for the garbage can. You thought you were going to die from the amount coming out, it felt like what you’re cousin described after eating two pounds of sugar free Haribo gummy bears.

You were shaking as the smell filled the room again, you barely made it into the bathroom after turning the stove off. You were chilled and had sweat pouring down your body and you felt like death. You leaned back on the door pulling your phone out to ask Steve to come over. You crawled to the sink and pulled out the box left from your cousin.

A few minutes later Steve let himself in with the key he had, a year of dating and he was more than worthy of it. He saw the kitchen before walking to the bedroom where you were sitting on the bed. He sat down beside you waiting for you to speak.

“I got sick. I was making breakfast and it was half done before I ran to the garbage.” You said playing with your fingers, “I kept puking at odd times for the last couple days. Steve, I think I’m pregnant.”

The shock was evident in the room because there was absolute silence as Steve processed the news. He was internally freaking out because they had been together for a year and weren’t even engaged. It was a polar opposite to what he would have had with Peggy if that had worked out.

“We should test it.” Steve mumbled looking up at his girlfriend whom was crying, “I’ll go get a test okay?”

“I have one.”

“Why?” Steve questioned confused.

“Cousin left it here a couple months ago, I didn’t even know about it until a week ago or so.” You replied sighing before you felt Steve grasp your hand.

“I’ll wait for you to do it and we’ll wait together.” Steve whispered kissing her forehead, “I love you and if we’re having a kid…I’m so very excited to have a child with someone like you.”

With a smile you disappeared into the bathroom to take care of your side of the waiting. Coming out with the test still in the bathroom you and Steve held hands cuddling.

“What if we are having a kid?” You questioned looking up at him, “I’m a doctor. I think I’ll work until I absolutely can’t.”

“We don’t know if we are.” Steve kissed the side of your head, “I’m not asking because you may be pregnant but I’m asking because I love you so much and I want to wake up next to you for the rest of the my life.”

“You want me to move in?” You grinned leaning up to kiss him, “Of course I will.”

“We can find a nice house with a yard and a couple rooms.” Steve chuckled getting excited at the new plan. You were about to reply when the timer went off and nervously you both went into the bathroom where the test gave the answer.

“I’m thinking Cairolyn Sarah Rogers.” You laughed looking up at Steve crying in happiness.

“Isaac James Rogers for a boy?” Steve replied getting a grin.

〰️〰️〰️

You were going through charts for patients that had come into the ER when you rubbed you very large belly. The scrubs were pulled tight over the belly, you were given a lot of the paperwork so you didn’t have to run around so much.

“Maggie?” You mumbled wincing at the head nurse. Maggie turned to look at you before you grasped at the desk nearly falling to the ground in agony, “Mind calling Steve?”

“Okay! People I need a wheelchair! Charlie, can you call the OB/GYN?” Maggie called out coming around to help you, “Y/N how are you doing?”

“Doing good so far. I don’t have a head coming out of my uterus yet.” You chuckled as the pain lessened. You could faintly hear your fellow co-worker calling your fiancé.

Time went by fast as you cussed at Steve, apologized for it before doing it again. He had called Wanda and Bucky to come to the hospital since Steve’s parents had passed away and yours lived across the country. They were there in time to see the newly hired OB/GYN resident came in to help check you. Bucky’s eyes grew comically big at the woman.

“Natasha?” Bucky questioned as the short haired red head turned to see the man.

Wanda watched the interaction with Steve and Y/N as the awkwardness in the room grew more along with Wanda’s confusions and discomfort. Steve and Y/N knew who the woman was from the stories and the way both Bucky and Natasha paled helped place her.

“Bucky!” Nat grinned hugging him, “It’s been so long!”

“I know.” Bucky coldly replied crossing his arms. Nat bit her lip looking him over.

“We’ll have to get together for drinks!” Nat said. Wanda’s eye twitched at the implied question.

“Excuse me? Rookie? I’m IN LABOUR!” Y/N screamed at the red head, “You can either help or get the fuck out of this room before I rip your bloody hair out! AND DON’T FLIRT WHEN YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME!”

Natasha’s jumped in surprise before going to professionalism again before you reported her. Wanda went closer to Bucky as he pulled her into his arms so he could inhale her calming scent. He felt the tension release from her body before he answered Nat’s question.

“I can’t go for drinks. My time is taken up by planning Wanda and my wedding.” Bucky kissed Wanda quickly, “By the way! This is my fiancée.”

“Fully dilated.” Nat mumbled to the head of the paediatrics. Soon you were pushing with all your might in routine.

It wasn’t much later since labour began that Cairolyn was born healthy to the joy of her parents. She was gorgeous in Steve’s eyes and he cried as he held her for the first time. He felt like his life was complete with her adoring, curious eyes staring up at him. The bond was instantaneous between father and daughter. The newborn baby girl screamed before she was placed on her mother’s chest.

You laughed in disbelief at the wonderful little creation in your arms. Steve knew that moment he would never let you go and weeks later you were engaged.

〰️〰️〰️

Steve was holding his baby girl as the wedding pictures inside commenced because Bucky and Wanda wanted the pre-wedding pictures and then post ones. You were getting a picture down with Wanda before Cairo would be included. at the moment Steve was too involved talking with Cairo to noticed the people around him.

“Steve!” Bucky called, “STEVE!”

“What?” Steve questioned looking at his best friend.

“Can I dance with my god-daughter?” Bucky grinned reaching for the little girl. Steve pouted pulling her closer.

“I get the first dance with her.” Steve glared, “You have to dance with Wanda first.”

Bucky chuckled backing up before the entire wedding party was brought in for a group picture before the first dance happened. The wedding was beautiful but tiring as you walked into your house taking Cairo up to bed; the day had been especially long for your six month old baby.

Soon everyone was joining the dancing and you grinned watching your loving fiancé dancing with you beautiful little girl. You could hear Steve whisper as he settled her into the crib as she was sleeping already. It was Steve and your daughters tradition that started the night you brought her home. She wouldn’t settle down until Steve had started to sing a song to her and slow danced. Ever since that night he would do that. Coming closer she stood next to her fiancé watching their sleeping girl.

“Your little hands wrapped around my finger, and it’s so quiet in the world tonight. Your little eyelids flutter cause you’re dreaming, so I tuck you in and turn on your favourite nightlight.” Steve leant down kissing her forehead before gently taking his finger from her grasp and pulling you into your arms, “Oh darling don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up just stay this little.”

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